It’s 6:24am Christmas Eve morning here. Elevenses woke up at 5am which is just..wrong. The kid usually sleeps until noon. Why is she up at 5am?? And then the other one got up and now they’re arguing about who ate the last chocolate candy from the advent calendar. Loudly. At 6am. This is usually my quiet time…just me and my black coffee in the dark. Quiet. Alone.

I am planning on going out at 10 am to finish my shopping. It’s 7°F out there currently. Elevenses wants to start making chocolate chip cookies for Santa immediately. Like right now. Very insistent. Am telling her we could do it later;— and also asking “Wait, I thought you didn’t believe in Santa?”

“I don’t. I know it’s you and mama. But we still need to make the cookies. Do you eat them?”


She wanders away in that weird puzzled dream-state dissonant cynical mind space that only children on the cusp of adolescence and red-hatted MAGA people seem to inhabit without decoherence.

As I type this the girls are trying to wrap gifts that they bought and fighting the cat who is trying to eat the wrapping paper and yelling for me to do something about it and I am telling them to take care of it themselves as I am typing something on the internet to my weird friends and they both scream “don’t post any pictures of us to your weird friends”.

[sipping coffee, clicking on ‘Post’]